From Sex Sells to Rage Spells: How Algorithms Changed Everything

Recently when we were booking flights to Vietnam over the school holidays my 9-year-old was genuinely mystified that we were flying economy on Scoot airlines - a "budget airline". His understanding was that it is standard to travel business class, and economy travel is for poor people. Where has he developed this idea? Not from us. We have been lucky enough to have flown business class exactly twice in his life. But somehow, he has developed the idea that we're poor because we fly budget airlines. It's a small but profound insight into how his brain is being wired and shaped by what he's been algorithmically served on his YouTube account.

I was a teenager in the late 90s. MTV was playing music videos. We had dial-up internet that made very loud noises when you connected. And if you wanted to sell something to teenagers, the playbook was simple and obvious.

Calvin Klein showed us underwear ads that were basically soft-core porn. Beer commercials featured attractive people having the time of their lives at beaches. Herbal Essences shampoo commercials were essentially women having erotic moments in the shower. Clearly; sex was what sold in the 90s.

Did it mess with our heads? Probably. The research on global eating disorders in millennials tells us it did some pretty messed up things to our body image. But then, at least the marketing playbook back then was simple. Then everything changed.

The playbook got rewritten.

Social media platforms realised something important - that engagement was the new currency. As they tested different types of content, it didn't matter if you were happy scrolling or sad scrolling, they discovered something powerful.

Sex sells. But rage sells harder.

So algorithms changed. Facebook boosted content that got strong reactions - especially rage-inducing ones. YouTube recommended outrage videos. Twitter surfaced controversial tweets. TikTok perfected feeds that knew exactly what would trigger you. The goal has shifted from "make them want the product" to "keep them engaged at all costs." And the most efficient way to keep people engaged? Make them afraid, and make them angry.

Entrepreneur Scott Galloway observed far-right marches in London and noted: "History shows us fascism breeds among sad, lonely, badly educated males who are most susceptible to conspiracy theories. The far right was very quick to identify the vulnerabilities of young men and harness their rage and shame, telling them it's women's or immigration's fault."

What Galloway observed at that march is just the visible tip of a much larger, more insidious machine. Journalist James Bloodworth infiltrated "manosphere" communities for his book Lost Boys, discovering the online ecosystem where young men's loneliness is systematically monetised. Their algorithm tells them they're victims - that feminism wronged them, that women are the problem, that society abandoned them.

And here is what concerns me about this algorithm-driven society my children are growing up in - girls are fed content about toxic masculinity and misogynistic men, and boys are fed content about how feminism is the problem and women have all the advantages. The algorithm isn't just radicalising our children. It's radicalising them against each other.

I can recognise that 90s marketing was obviously harmful, but it left things intact:

We had a shared reality - we agreed on basic facts, even if we had different opinions. Not everything was political - you could just like things. And development was age-appropriate (mostly) - nine-year-olds worried about nine-year-old stuff. Not about whether they're financially secure enough to travel on business class.

But when my son watches YouTube videos of influencers rating their airline travel experiences, or hear gamers talk about female characters in a derogatory way it doesn't feel like marketing. It feels like learning. Like he's being informed.

Galloway calls social media companies "truly mendacious and evil" for targeting teenagers, comparing tech CEOs to drug dealers "outside junior high with a bag of smack."

So, here's what I'm trying.

I'm using a framework I've developed to help families navigate this:

Communicate: I name it when I see it. I might ask: "Do you think that video wanted you to feel calm or angry? And why would they want you to feel angry?" Sometimes just having an open conversation about the model behind these feeds and that there's an intent behind the content helps to step away from it.

Oversight: I'm not hovering, but I'm aware. I know which platforms my kids are on, and what content themes are appearing in their algorithms. I never let a device go into their bedrooms.

Mindfulness: I try to model nuance and conscious consumption. "I can see why people feel differently about this" even with strong opinions I can show how to disagree without rage.

Privacy: We talk about what information should stay private and what can be shared. We talk about how that information can be used against them and the hard truth about data as currency - when an app is "free," your child is not the customer, they ARE the product being sold. "Big tech companies are making billions by tracking everything about what makes you click, what makes you angry, what keeps you watching. Your data is their goldmine." Their attention, emotions, and personal information are incredibly valuable - and right now, big tech is cashing in on them.

Analysis: I help them analyse what they are seeing. "Who made this content? What do they want you to feel? What do they gain if you watch more?" We talk about techniques used to keep them engaged and locked in.

Synthesis: Screen-free school nights where content isn't being served to us. Physical books, board games, walks, conversations that synthesises what they learn online with real-world context.

Support: I'm building a parent network. It's important we can share what we're seeing, compare notes on what's working, and feel slightly less overwhelmed at the task of parenting in this algorithm-driven world. This way we can advocate for better protections and stop big tech from profiting from our children's attention.

I should be fully transparent here: my kids are still little. Not yet teens. I'm writing this as much to prepare myself as to help others, because I know the teenage years will make all of this exponentially more complicated. Unless our governments work harder at fighting against big tech, the algorithms will become more sophisticated, and the peer pressure more intense. And I am learning as I go.

The algorithms are winning. What's one conversation you will have with your child about it this week?

Further Reading & Resources

Bloodworth, James. "What's the problem with young men? My descent into the manosphere." The Sunday Times, June 4, 2025.

Odell, Michael. "Multimillionaire Scott Galloway: how to save teenage boys." The Times Magazine, October 24, 2025.

Recommended listening:

"Incels" - iHeart True Crime podcast. A deep dive into how lonely young men are radicalized online, essential listening for understanding the manosphere's appeal and dangers.